Alfred Hitchcock May Have Been On To Something

The party’s over, they’re out to get us. After 105 years or so, they’ve declared enough. The skies belong to us. The birds are coming.

buzzard attack yesterday in Southern Florida

That’s right, the days of human dominance over the skies is coming to a halt. After never having even heard of bird strikes prior to the Miracle on the Hudson, I’m now reading about them every day. They are not only taking down commercial jetliners, but causing them to abort flights and causing emergency landings. What the heck?

I have one theory. The other night I was watching Animal Planet while dozing off, and saw a story about a man who trains baby geese and cranes to fly after him in an ultra-light plane to teach them about migration. I figure the geese and cranes are sharing the news that they are getting food and knowledge from the ultra-light, and greedier birds are figuring, well, if that little thing hands out food imagine what one of these really big ones is handing out! Let’s get it!

Or perhaps it’s more sinister. Maybe they really do hate us. Maybe they are tired of all of the air traffic, noise and pollution, and are coming together as bird kamikazes, or avian suicide bombers to stop the madness. Maybe they are tired of hearing the stories of comrades locked up in cages in windows, or zoos. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I just hope the birds and us can reach a peaceful resolution before this thing gets any more out of hand.