Ashley's "injuries"Ashley Todd, if you haven’t heard the story, is a young republican McCain volunteer who claims to have been mugged in a “shady” area of Pittsburgh by a black mugger, who is apparently a support of Obama.
Prior to getting lost looking for a BOA ATM, she twittered that she was lost in a bad area, apparently setting the stage for her scheme. After apparently withdrawing $60, a 6’4” black man, dressed only in a wife-beater t-shirt and jeans, at 10:00 at night in October in Pittsburgh, came up behind her and demanded, you guess it, $60, which she gave to him, then headed to her car. If you picture the scenario in your head, as I did, the dullard of a mugger, rather than run away, and after having committed a crime, stood there, no doubt with his mouth open and a thin stream of drool coming out of the left corner, and watched her go to her car. He probably went around (in the dark, mind you) to the back of her car, as she got in and spotted her McCain bumper sticker and became enraged. But wait, Ashley reported that the dim-witted mugger hit her in the back of her head as she was headed to her McCain-bumper-sticker-sporting car, so my guess is that he took a wild leap of faith that the white woman WAS going to get in the car that said “McCain,” after he had carefully checked all the cars for bumper stickers.
Anyway, after punching her in the eye leaving a neat dark circle that resembles what you would see on a panda bear or raccoon, this mugger pulled out a knife and, holding her chin and ordering her to be still so he could do his dirty deed, carved a backwards “B” into her cheek with his dirty switchblade, probably. He probably then glared at her angrily, said “Vote Barack!” and THEN ran off.
There are many things wrong with this story. First of all, why a B? Wouldn’t an O have been easier to carve? At least he wouldn’t have had to worry about it being backwards. And who, pray tell, goes around saying “vote for Barack?” Everyone I know says they are voting for Obama, not “Barack” or even “John.” Wow, this mugger must have really been stupid, or at least in Ms. Todd’s minds eye this is how black muggers think.
Second of all, that black eye was awfully neat and prim. Because I used to study martial arts, I’ve seen many black eyes. All are accompanied by swelling, and usually the white part of the eye has some red from broken blood vessels. Yet, her whites were shining through nice and clear, and there was absolutely no swelling.
Third, why was the B backwards? Could it be that the mugger was dyslexic? Perhaps he pushed her down and did the carving from the top of her head? Most likely, Todd, being the rocket scientist that she obviously is, carved the B into her own face looking in a mirror, carving it the right way based on the mirror image which would make it backwards. However, Todd reported to police that after kicking and punching her, the assailant knocked her down, sat on her chest, pinning her hands down with his knees, and, after telling her “you are going to be a Barack supporter!”, he proceeded to carve (scratch, rather, based on looking at the photo) a backwards B into her cheek.
Both McCain and Palin have called Todd to express their outrage and condolences, and the Obama campaign has expressed dismay and best wishes to her as well. I would like to offer up my condolences too. Not because of the mugging, but because I know what mental illness looks like and this is a glaring example. I hope someone is able to get some help for the poor child.
Update: I'm watching CNN now as they discuss her "hoax," as she's apparently confessed.
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